Why do I write wacky comedy murder mysteries? Lunacy of course. And to make people laugh. Please allow me to explain. Lunacy of course
I’m a mature man, aged, older, yes, freaking elderly. In other words, I’ve been alive for a long time, and I’ve seen a lot. And I’m here to tell you that this world is chocked full of lunacy and lunatics. Lunacy of course
For example, let’s take a look at presidents. Ronald Reagan, a Republican, whose claim to fame was doing a film with a monkey, told us during the cold war that nukes weren’t really all that dangerous. All we needed to do was hide behind a Volkswagen, or a bush. Then, during Nine-Eleven eight Saudi Arabian men hijacked airplanes and wrought horrible destruction on our country. President George W. Bush, another Republican, retaliated by attacking Iraq and killing Saddam Hussein…wrong country, wrong man? Lunacy of course
Then there’s Bill Clinton, allegedly flying around on something called ‘the pedophile plane’? There’s the last four years that some are calling ‘A Weekend at Bernies’. We had a President who was so old and feeble that he was not there physically (spent more time in Delaware than the White House) or mentally (did you see that so-called debate?). And speaking of old, who thinks term limits and age limits might be a good idea for our Congress? We apparently have a Republican congresswoman in an assisted living facility still serving in the House of Representatives. And many of the Congressional committee heads are in their eighties. I’m thinking that all of the above probably falls into the category of lunacy. Lunacy of course
I was born not too long after the end of WWII. That’s the war where this lunatic, I think his name was Adolph Hitler, decided he needed to kill all the Jews and take over the world. Today I’m having deja-vu all over again. There are now protests all over the world with people screaming that they want to kill all the Jews. The highly regarded and world-renowned Ivy League has even decided to support protesters screaming ‘From the River to the Sea’, which to my understanding actually recommends the killing of all the Jews. I thought we’d already been here, and realized it was nuts. Lunacy of course
Then there’s traffic, traveling on the highway. For example, my wife and I, driving down I-95 at 75 mph (5 over the speed limit), when a young woman in a huge Chevy Suburban comes flying up behind us at warp speed. When I can’t pull over because there are cars and trucks in the way, she continues to ride my bumper while flipping me the bird. She’s clearly having a bad day. Perhaps she missed breakfast, or had too much coffee, or has to pee really bad. All great reasons to kill two old people on the highway, and possibly herself as well. Or is it more lunacy? Lunacy of course
While we’re in the driving arena, how about those people curling their hair or eyelashes while flying up the highway to work? Or the ones you see in the rearview mirror texting on their cell phone as they approach you from behind at a light? Or the truck drivers that haven’t slept for a week wobbling all over the road, and off the road, in front of you. More lunacy, perhaps? Lunacy of course
Let’s not forget my Tesla. Used to be my Tesla was a wonderful thing for the environment, until it spontaneously burst into flames because of an overheating battery. Now, I’m a terrible person for owning it, although it still burst into flames, when a protester who hates some billionaire flings a Molotov cocktail at it. More lunacy. According to the news media, both things are true. Lunacy of course
Let’s also not forget all the stuff that doesn’t work anymore (perhaps they never did). We once upon a time had our deck boards and screened-in porch redone. I had recently mulched under the deck, and asked the workmen to please not smoke on the job. On the second day the men left for lunch, and a few minutes later I noticed smoke coming from one corner of the deck. I ran outside to discover flames three feet high, headed for one of my deck posts. A workman had set the mulch on fire with a discarded cigarette butt. I barely put the fire out with the hose on that side of the house before it burned down my deck. Lunacy, lunacy, lunacy. Lunacy of course
Then there’s the national news. Talk about lunacy. There is absolutely no way to find out what is really going on, because the news has been completely politicized. Either there are no illegal aliens in the country, and we need to be compassionate to them? Or alternatively there are a kajillion MS-13 gang members lopping the heads and hands off every American in sight. You need to carry an umbrella to protect yourself from all the helicopters and airplanes falling out of the sky, and no one seems to know why. According to the news, the government is still trying to figure out who shot President Kennedy. And we still have no idea why two different men tried to shoot President Trump, at least that’s what the news reports. Either that thing that made his ear bleed was a bullet, or bird poop, depending on which news outlet you follow. Lunacy of course
The health insurance industry is another great example of lunacy. If you have a procedure done in the hospital, the hospital charges a million dollars, the health insurance company says it’s really worth two dollars, and they send you a bill for two million dollars. Lunacy of course
Not to mention the now years past Covid epidemic, killing millions. Half of the elderly in the world were killed by what might have been a genetically altered virus. According to the media, it was either genetically altered, or not. It was also released by China as a bioweapon or some guy ate a bat and spread it to the world by sneezing on an airplane (presumably one that didn’t fall out of the sky). Lunacy of course
It would appear that everyone in the world hates everyone else. Hate is everywhere. If Jesus came back today and told people to love each other, they’d probably blow up his Tesla with him in it, or not. Depends on which news outlet you watch as to what actually happened. Lunacy of course
So, to answer the question ‘why do I write comedy murder mysteries’, the answer is simple. Rather than live in the real world of lunacy I prefer to conjure up my own imaginary world of lunacy. A dysfunctional couple, a doctor/private eye and his poor nurse wife who work together to solve unique, wacky cases in spite of his many character defects. Dr. Jason Longfellow, PI is a bit of a lunatic, and the criminals he and Chelsea chase are also lunatics, as are many of the supporting characters. The only difference between my books and the real world is that my books make you laugh and have no bearing whatsoever on the real world. While the real world is just sad. Lunacy of course
So, buy my books, read them, laugh, and feel better. It’s a helluva lot better than watching the news or focusing on reality. Just be careful you aren’t eating or drinking while reading my books, or you might choke while laughing. Well, nothing is perfect. Lunacy of course
From a spiritual perspective I believe that God gave everyone free will. Everyone uses their free will for something different, which is the way it’s supposed to be. However, in my seventy plus years of experience, an awful lot of us people choose to use it for lunacy. I’m not sure that’s what God intended, but again, I guess it depends on which news outlet you follow. Lunacy of course
Speaking of free will, I use my free will to write comedy murder mysteries in a world where no one seems to read anymore. Everyone is either binge-watching TV shows, trying to become an influencer online, or watching the news, which is another kind of lunacy. Who would write books in a world where no one reads anymore? Oh no, I think I just convinced myself I’m the real lunatic. But I’m sure of one thing, it’s a lot healthier if I don’t take this world too seriously. Laughter really is the best medicine, even for a lunatic. Lunacy of course
My new book, just released, is called HOLY CRAP. Here is the book cover.
The story is full of lunatics, of the funny kind. In fact, pretty much everyone but Chelsea Longfellow is a lunatic of one type or another. Chelsea is a nurse and private eye who works with her dysfunctional husband, Dr. Jason Longfellow, PI. He is inept as a detective, while she’s the real deal. Together they’re a hilarious hot mess. Jason has no filter between his brain and his mouth and is always blurting out inappropriate stuff. He wouldn’t recognize a clue if he fell over it, and his suspects are often…well…animals? And he’s constantly trying to accidentally suicide himself. Chelsea spends a lot or time trying to keep him alive. Lunacy of course
In this fifth story in the series, (they’re standalone books, so you don’t have to read them in order), this PI duo moves their family to the small city of Intoxication Junction and enrolls their daughters in a private Christian school in an effort to find a safe place to live. What could possibly go wrong? And what’s with all the chocolate donuts? And why would anyone name a book HOLY CRAP? You’ll have to read the book to find out. Just click on the book cover above for a link to buy the book on Amazon. You’ll be glad you did. I promise you’ll laugh, and that’ll make you forget all the lunatics in the real world. Or you can go to my author website at johnjjessop.com for more.